Wonder and Wander
to relax till sleep after relief from stress
There’s the funny thing about stress — at least i work and am relatively productive, even as i resent the feeling and work myself till ill.
Once the stress and pressure has gone, i often break down into lethargy. All the things i need to do done, all the things i want to do has to wait. I don’t to commit to something new, for i know that if i get into this, then there is no relaxing.
For others, i usually have the will to work.
For myself, oftentimes i can’t find it.
Even now, if someone asked, i’d say i’ll be there.
Only, i’m asking me at the moment, and i say i haven’t the energy.
Perhaps i have the energy, but i don’t have the drive.
When i was stressed with work, i wished for quiet moments of time to do the wants. Now that the quiet moments have come, i’m wondering at the work to come yet. There’s something to be said for living in the moment and counting one’s blessings.
The things i want to do are there waiting, but i waver to commit — maybe because the wants feel like work, and i’m stressed from the past work and stressing about the future work and don’t want present work.
I confess, however grumpy i am about it and despite being known for working wholeheartedly too much: i can be pleasantly lazy.
And it is much lovelier to dream of stories than to capture them in art.
So the sluggard buries his hand in the dish and is too weary to bring it back to his mouth,1 and i feel guilty about it, true. I watch the figurative house leak and roof sink,2 i know labor to profit, idleness to hunger, talk and love of sleep to poverty.3
All these verses and thoughts, yet still i’m in the state of the sluggard turning in his bed like a door does on its hinges.4
It is good Christian virtue to work hard and be disciplined.5
I must get up then — maybe i can’t make this one talent into ten, but at least i can do something like putting it on deposit.
And maybe that will be the motion which helps me take this talent and somehow be able to give ten when the time comes.
Proverbs 19:24.
Ecclesiastes 10:18.
Proverbs 14:23; Proverbs 19:15.
Proverbs 26:14.
Acts 20:34; 2 Thessalonians 3:7.